When other people wrong you, and you take their actions personally, it can feel as if you’ve been punched in the gut. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but when you’re sensitive — or what some might call hypersensitive — you tend to take things pretty personally. You feel everything deeply, even if it has nothing to do with you. If people speak badly about you to your face or behind your back, it’s enough to destroy your sense of self-worth. Sometimes people don’t even have to say anything; you might just interpret their negative facial expressions or body movements as something you did wrong, causing you to conjure up every possible thing you might have said or done to upset them.
It’s easy for other people to say, “Don’t take it personally. It’s not about you.” And while that statement is usually true, it’s hard to keep in mind every time we encounter someone cranky. For the sensitive person, it can seem like only a robot could manage to be unaffected by others. And let’s face it.
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All of us have emotional triggers from the past. Certain actions people take may trigger us to become sensitive about particular things. For example, if your father was overly critical, and you tried to be perfect to please him, someone pointing out that you made a mistake could trigger you to feel more sensitive than another person might under the same circumstances. When you do get upset about a situation, ask yourself, “Am I really upset about this situation, or is this one of my emotional triggers?” As the saying goes, « To become our best selves, we first have to be our worst selves. » Allow yourself to make mistakes, and understand that they’re just part of the map leading you to the person you always wished you could be. When you do make a misstep, don’t forget to forgive yourself.
It’s important to take responsibility for your actions, but don’t punish yourself too much if someone disapproves of you. Accept that you aren’t perfect, and remember that there’s really no such thing as mistakes if you learn from them.
Setting proper boundaries in your relationships will help you take things less personally. You put these boundaries in place by saying no to work, love, or activities that you don’t want to do or that harm you emotionally. Doing too much to please others can lead you to feel overly sensitive when they do something that upsets you.
When something upsets you or makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s helpful to take a look at the situation from a more logical perspective: Did the situation call for the reaction you had, or are you losing it unnecessarily?
Is the other person really doing something wrong, or are you taking the situation too personally? If someone is truly being hurtful, can you ask for what you need or work on letting it go?
Setting proper boundaries in your relationships will help you take things less personally. You put these boundaries in place by saying no to work, love, or activities that you don’t want to do or that harm you emotionally. Doing too much to please others can lead you to feel overly sensitive when they do something that upsets you.
Sometimes our emotions call for us to be as sophisticated and educated as our logical brains. It’s of great importance, therefore, to explore where your feelings are coming from, how you can respond to them, and how you can allow the situation to challenge and inspire you at the same time. When you educate yourself about your reactions, you can turn them into reasonable responses in the future.
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